Julie Barrett is a freelance writer and photographer based in Plano, TX.

Dear Spammers...

Fresh when it gets here from Julie Barrett
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Fish in a barrel, folks. And in case you wonder why I do this, it's partly for the snark value and partly because it forces me to thoroughly check the spam folder to make sure something important didn't get in there by mistake. 

The grocery bill slashing device? Oh, you mean a pocket calculator? 

Thanks for letting me know about my auto warranty. Still has three more years to go, though.

The government's hidden agenda? According to the text, it's "wine concealed thick. halfsignificant a plunge be milk almonds." Yep, sounds like conspiracy theory language to me.

My psychic prediction? I'll be swimming through the spam box for days. 

Crazy guy enjoys BBQ during a hurricane? Come to Texas, where we smoke when it's 100+ outdoors. And no, I don't mean e-cigs. Or premium cigars. Nor cannabis e-liquid.

My Who's Who invitation is expiring. Again. For maybe the third time this week. Oops, I deleted it.

How To End Chronic Disease: Take in on vinegar, be of taste very it semolina for halfinsignificant indeed. There ya go.

Don't need a Colombian woman. Or a Russian woman. Or an Asian woman. It seems I have a Chinese bride! 

I think I'd know if my background was searched. Try it and I'll slap you.

Yulia sent me another new photo. How sweet. And it's in a ZIP file. Pardon me if I don't open it.

"Anna" tells me she's never "written to men first..." Yet she's spamming mail from "Patsy" and even "Julie." 

Glasses and contacts do not help my vision. Neither do cataracts and retina tears. How will you help me? Delete Queda Cherie. Well, that's clear as mud. Thanks.

Filed under: Life            


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