(Picture: "Thumb Drive," May, 2008)
Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well since the surgery. Maybe it's because I've been working my tail off to get ready for a convention this weekend. Maybe it's none of the above. ("Ennui! Ennui! No mistaking, that's for me!") Today I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels very fast and going nowhere.
Spinning wheels can look pretty, but without traction they go nowhere.
I tried to bowl yesterday, and gave up after I started losing focus in the left eye. Oh, I'm sure this is all normal. I'll find out in an hour or so when I go in for my next post-op. I also discovered how very, very bad my depth perception had become. I was aiming at my mark as usual, but every shot went to the left. I'm going to have to learn to bowl all over again. That's a minor issue in the grand scheme of things.
The sleeplessness is due to several factors, and hey, they'll improve. The first week it was that dratted eye shield. I kept waking up and finding that it was in the process of falling off. The tape they gave me didn't hold. I dug around and found some stronger tape. That helped, but I'm still going through this "should I lay this way? What will it do to my eye?" kind of thing. I know, I know: it's stupid. And it shall pass. And last night I did sleep better. But I'm not going to make up for a crappy week of sleep in one night. So it's a factor.
Then I have Fan Days this weekend. I'm not on programming, but I'm going as a vendor. It's an experiment to see if I would do better selling from a table than in an art show. Of course, this isn't the type of convention I normally go to. So, is this crowd going to be interested in what I have to sell? I dunno. Can I find a sweet spot price point where hats will move but I don't lose my shirt? I dunno. I just know I've worked my tail off in the last week and I'm still not ready to go. I have a bunch of hats without lining. All that has to be finished today. The lining is cut, and sewing shouldn't take that long. But what if I get all of these hats finished, put them on display, and they don't sell?
Hey, it's still going to be fun. I'm sharing a booth with two good friends and we can chat all weekend.
I did their sister show earlier in the year and sold about $50 worth of stuff. Apparently it was a crappy weekend all around for vendors. Crowds were off. Their next show pulled in about 15,000 people and I heard vendors did well. This one OUGHT to be good. Stan Lee and Felicia Day will be there, among others. Dave Prowse, Alan Tudyk and Gina Torres. Ian McDairmid. Yep, should draw lots of people.
But if I don't make any money this weekend I have to retrench and rethink a lot of things.
Hey, maybe I'm just overtired from lack of sleep and working my tail off. Maybe I'll go to the doc and get good news. Maybe I'll sell out this weekend.
Or not. Then what?